Hate and the Sports Life

With a thrilling Super Bowl just behind us, the NHL and NBA seasons in full swing, and with Spring Training on the horizon, it's a good time to reflect on all that is part and parcel of being a sports fan, and why we all do the things we do.

You know what? It's EXHAUSTING.

I'm not just saying that because there's always some sport to watch somewhere, or that at any given point, at least two sports seasons are going on at the same time (yes, I'm counting MLS and the summertime). Not that type of exhausting. It's exhausting because of the type of sports fan I am, and the relationships that the sports teams I cheer for have with others in their sport.

I'm talking about hate.

Last week, in a span of 5 days, I had to not only actively cheer for my sports teams, but I had to actively cheer AGAINST three others. Specifically, the Pittsburgh Steelers, the Montreal Canadiens, and the LA Lakers. It wasn't enough to want the Packers, Bruins, and Celtics to win their respective games, I needed to hurl all amounts of spite, vitriol, and hatred towards those teams. In the case of the Packers, I really didn't want them to win, per se, as much as I wanted the Steelers to lose.

A lot of this goes into the histories that certain teams have with mine, as the Steelers were challenging the Patriots for most Super Bowl wins in the decade, the Canadiens have been getting the best of the Bruins when it mattered since 1924, and the Lakers and Celtics form quite possibly the highest-quality rivalry in sport, since every time they've meet in the playoffs (and they have been legion), it's with the championship on the line. But beyond that, beyond the big rivalries, I find myself hating more and more teams every year, based on a whole bunch of factors. And it gets more time consuming and tiring each year, but when I look at my life as a sports fan, I just don't see that changing any time soon. To wit, I am required to hate the following teams:

IN THE BLOOD

New York Yankees
Montreal Canadiens
New York Jets
Los Angeles Lakers

These four, these core four, are in my blood as a New England Sports fan. It doesn't matter how good the Sox, B's, Pats or C's are doing, I am obligated to not only cheer against these teams when they play my own, but to root for a prolonged losing streak/ horrible bus accident to befall them.

SOUR GRAPES

New York Giants
Philadelphia Flyers
Tampa Bay Rays
Orlando Magic
Indianapolis Colts
Pittsburgh Steelers
Carolina Hurricanes
Baltimore Ravens


Did you beat my team in a playoff series in the last 10 years? Congratulations, I hate your guts. Nothing personal, just please die in a fire.

DIVISIONAL GAMESMANSHIP

Buffalo Sabres
Ottawa Senators
Toronto Blue Jays
Baltimore Orioles
Buffalo Bills
Miami Dolphins
Philadelphia 76ers
Toronto Raptors

Any game you lose is a game my teams make up in the standings. Even if I can't name 3 members of your team, I know that whenever I see an L next to your city abbreviation, I can breath a little easier about how we just lost at home to New York.

NEW YORK

New York Mets
New York Knicks
New Jersey Devils
New Jersey Nets


Fuck New York.


WE OWN YOUR DRAFT PICK

Toronto Maple Leafs

Honestly, I'm not going to know what to do with myself after the season ends and the Phil Kessel trade stops giving me reasons to cheer against the Maple Leafs each and every night. Apart from Kessel being a douche, but I digress. It's really been more fun than I expected, especially with the Seguin sweepstakes last year.


See? Isn't that a long list? That's 24 teams that I find myself rooting against, regardless of the circumstances. Unless of course they're playing a member of the Core Four, in which case, the enemy of my enemy is my friend, etc. That's just a lot of energy going into hate, which I suppose is probably unhealthy. But at the same time, investing that much into the other teams really makes beating them that much fun, and where would my sports experience be without the 2004 ALCS, the 2008 NBA Finals, the 2003 and 2004 AFC Championship Games, and the 2009 Stanley Cup Quarterfinals? It feels that much better to beat these teams, and so what if I define my sports fandom almost as much by hate as I do by love? Without the hate, how would I know what rooting for Boston sports teams would feel like? And without the hate, how would I have perspective? It's how the rest of the country views this city's teams, anyway.

-M